Monday, May 11, 2009

Saved By Cesar

0720 hrs. -- I've been here before and I didn't like it. At least, now, the poor woman has died and is free from the filth and emotional wasteland that was her home. Such is often the case when your caregivers are addicts...

All the adult members of the family are out on the porch, drinking cheap vodka straight from the plastic, gallon bottle.
Walking up the long, winding ramp to the trailer's front door, I'm met by the family dog. The anxious and aggressive pit bull is barking ferociously. Someone, out on the deck, yells at the animal from twenty feet away, but the dog pays no attention and stands its ground. Clearly, no one is going to get up to handle the dog for me.

Okay, deep breath. It's time to draw upon the power of The Dog Whisperer. I quickly remember his mantra... "exercise, discipline and affection". Shit! Wrong mantra. I don't think I have the time for exercise, discipline and affection. Okay, got it. It's "no touch, no talk, no eye contact".

Head up, shoulders back, I walk past the territorial pit bull and just hope that it doesn't bite me in the ass. I briefly greet the members of the "cocktail party" and enter the mobile home. Safe at last. All alone with poor, dead Sally in the midst of almost, unbelievable squalor.

Twenty minutes pass...

I'm done with my reports and computer work and am now just waiting for the funeral home to arrive. Outside, the pit bull is acting up again and the party goers, resenting the interruption to their witty repartee, open the door to the trailer and kick the dog inside. With me. Alone.

I recall the "mantra" that served me so well before and at a time like this, it can't hurt to pray either... "Hail Cesar, full of calm assertiveness. Blessed are you among frustrated humans with bad doggies..."

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5 comments:

Liz said...

OK! I once visited a patient who had recently gotten a pit bull puppy. He was a nice dog, but whenever I knocked on the door, he sounded as though he was going to come through it and go right for my throat. It takes a bit to make me ultra cautious around dogs, I've always had no problems getting along. But with this dog I had to make friends all over again, every visit.

Several weeks went by. I arrived at the home for a regular patient visit and for the first time the dog was in the backyard. My patient told me the (now somewhat large) puppy had just bitten a little girl "but it was ok because her dad owns pit bulls and he's a friend of mine".

Alrighty, then!

Meanwhile, the dog was barking and scratching at the door like a wild thing. Patient says to his girlfriend, "let him in so he can see who's here"......

No, really, it's ok, I protested weakly. The door opened....

Thankfully, it all turned out well....

Jessica Knapp said...

Wow! What a story. As if your job wasn't difficult enough already, you need a vicious dog thrown into the mix. Sounds like you handled it like a pro though.

So sad to imagine that poor woman dying amidst all of that chaos, addiction, mess. I can just picture it. What a frightful way to end a life.

dethmama said...

@ Liz...Oh, dear. The level of stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me!

Essentially, it was "okay" that the dog bit the girl since her father didn't really care. Perfect.

dethmama said...

@Jessica... She died under terrible circumstances. This family has provided fodder for another True Adventure soon to come.

Gail Rae said...

I'm a big fan of rewriting the Hail Mary on the spot...I LOVE your rendition; I'm going to have to memorize me.
In regard to the story, which is eye-opening, to say the least, it reminds me of that saying mentioned several times in the "Final" books: People die the way they've lived, only more so.
Guess I'd better clean up around here...