TwitterLadies and Introspection

I'm every bit the failure at social networking on the internet as I am in real life. I've no MySpace, no Facebook and I have no idea how to make Twitter "work for me". I played around on Blog Catalog for a while, had a little fun, got bored and left.

There are, however, a few diehards that, in spite of my anti-social behavior, persist in trying to get my attention. That would be the naughty ladies of Twitter (not sure how long that link will remain viable) and those that would like to assist me in the task of enlarging my penis. While flattered by your attention and impressed by your tenacity, I'm afraid that you're all barking up the wrong demographic.

I will admit to having had an enormous "girl crush" on Diana Rigg during her stint on The Avengers. Well, actually, Dame Diana still makes my heart flutter a bit. (I absolutely adore the photo of her above and wish I knew more about it. Anyone?)

Oh, Mrs. Peel...(sigh)

Thinking about this a bit, I suppose I wouldn't be completely averse to a snuggle with Angelina Jolie. We could be in for the night, on the sofa, with a good movie and a big bowl of popcorn. Suddenly, Brad would burst into the room and cry out, "What's going on here!?" and then we'd all have a good laugh and then... Hmm, she is a little too thin for a good snuggle, though, isn't she?

I can give it the old, college try, but the kids will have to stay at home!

All right, now I have it. Nigella Lawson. Perfect. An amazing cook of all things sensuous and the epitome of womanly curvatude. I honestly can't think of any woman more snuggle-worthy.

First things first, Nigella. Did you bring the cheesecake?

So apparently, I'm not as "straight" as I thought. Just very, very picky. The TwitterLadies are really going to have to class it up a lot before they deserve my attention. However, I am standing firm on the whole penis enlargement thing. Go away. Just stop it. I am not interested in a BEEF1ER WE1NER.